Jokes: Page 111

 

The Speeding Ticket
 

Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident, while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road.


One of the officers (they are not named in the report) used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300mph. The machine then stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.


The radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet over the North Sea, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district.


Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint to the RAF Liaison office.


Back came the reply in true laconic RAF style.


"Thanks awfully for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had automatically locked on to your 'hostile radar equipment' and sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, the Sidewinder Air-to-Ground missiles aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also locked on to the target. Fortunately the Dutch pilot flying the Tornado responded to the missile status alert intelligently and was able to override the automatic protection system before the missiles were launched."